Hope Starts Here: Parents share hopes for their children’s futures

Changing Realities parents have been working together on a new campaign ‘Hope Starts Here’, part of this has been engaging in creative workshops including blog writing. This blog contains extracts from participants, who are parents and carers living on a low income. They reflect on the present and share their hopes for their children’s futures.

What is missing from my children’s lives right now?

Sammie

Pre-Covid, there was laughter, fun times, joy and lots to look forward to. The cost of living crisis has cast a dark shadow over things we enjoyed. We find ourselves in survival mode day in day out. My children miss out on the times we had together, going to the cinemas, having a day out, making memories, going on family holidays. Sadly they often hear me say "no we cant afford that". They are missing out on hearing me say "yes you can have that".

Amelie

My two children are 10 and 14. I asked my children for their views about the future. They could not exactly identify what they required. I have previously spoken to my eldest son about feeling like he’s missing out in terms of things he may want, he has not really asked for anything. We do have internet access and he does own an internet enabled device on which he can speak to his friends and complete his homework. Presently, I try to give them a varied and nutritious diet. I give them love, shelter and clothing. That is all they want for now, the children cannot currently think of anything else.

As a solo parent on a low income, I do feel that my children do miss out on opportunities that other children in their peer group are afforded. My children cannot swim or ride a bicycle, I cannot afford tennis lessons or any activities that will enrich their lives. As a parent I can only want and wish the best future possible for them, I wish them happiness and good health. I would like them to seize opportunities available to enable them to realise and fulfil their potential, dreams and aspirations. I want them to be successful and secure in whatever it is that makes them happy. Isn’t this what every parent wishes for their children?

For people like me and my family, there are barriers in achieving these goals. It is access to money and all that entails which allows opportunity. An adequate supply of money is required. There are many ways the government can choose to do this to bring our children out of poverty. But they have chosen not to. I can only have hope of a better future for my children.

What do I hope for in my children's future?

Tayeba

When I think about the time ahead, probably 10 years after all my children will be over 16 years old, it makes me so emotional and worried at the same time. I keep thinking how the outer world will treat them. What kind of difficulties will they come across?

The world is constantly changing, I hope they make the right choices, I hope they get all the happiness, comfort, health, love and success. I hope they are surrounded by the people who will uplift them and encourage them, and they can contribute to the world by fulfilling their dreams and goals. I hope my children will be kind to the older generation and show kindness without expecting anything in return.

I think if children are given basic needs, the right nutrition, education and a safe environment they will flourish and will make a better future. As parents, the most worrying thing is financial stability. My older child is nearly 10 years old and they have never been on holidays, never seen their extended family. There are a lot of elements that are missing from my children’s lives, mostly because of being on a low income. We cannot afford things. I hope for a better future for my children.

Abi

I think it is really important to have improved safe and inclusive communities, where my children feel safe to explore and express themselves, promoting diversity and cultural understanding. Linked to this, even working towards a cleaner and greener East London can ensure a sustainable environment for future generations to thrive in. It would be good to see improved healthcare facilities and services in East London, ensuring children have access to essential healthcare resources and support even after they turn 18. Based on my children's experiences, it is important to have diverse educational opportunities and appropriate careers support to cater to various learning styles and interests.

Faith

I hope my children have a future filled with the opportunity of a great education and equal opportunities to their peers to get to have extracurricular activities. I also wish for them the carefree upbringing I experienced as a child at their age, not having to worry about anything else apart from when it is time to get up so I can go and play with my friends. I understand that society at the moment has found it difficult to cater for the growing needs of families, but if we give up on the young now, how will they be able to find their feet tomorrow? Art which plays a huge part in their emotional development, is a luxury I can only occasionally afford, if at all. Being able to afford to sign them up and pay for them to join their musical school group, remains a distant future dream.

What will the world look like for my children in 2034?

Chris R

It's interesting how one simple question can bring up such strong emotions. However, it's an important question to ask. Will the future be cruel or kind? Will the world heal or cause more harm?

I'm often asked this, and my answer remains the same: I want a better future for my children. Certainly nothing worse, but also no continuation of life currently. I wish them a more enjoyable life, more harmony, peace, joy and laughter - a life full of all the good stuff. Why wouldn't we wish the best for our children's futures? Why would I wish them to be compromised, stressed or face limitation?

Allow me to expand on what I truly hope to see and dream of for my children's future. Frankly, I want a world in which they will be safe, and never need to experience the worst out there. Where they never feel trapped or have to base decisions off pure survival, or alleviate the pain of poverty through cheap means. I dream of a world where they are treated fairly and respected rather than stigmatised and marginalised. I wish that they might contribute to such a world. But I also hope they can fulfil their own ambitions and plan for their futures too. I hope they experience love, good health, and wellbeing, not illness or hate. And I wish that they are surrounded by people who know their worth and cherish them for who they are instead of feeling insulted or exploited. If you're gay, be gay. If you want your hair blue, or to have piercings or tattoos, then do so. I hope they are kind to the elderly, have an understanding of disabilities, and lend a helping hand to the poor and feel fulfilled for doing so, as opposed to feeling embarrassed to beg. I hope they find jobs they love which inspire them to be the best people they can be.

It's tempting to feel this future is within grasp, at the tips of our fingers. I don't want my children to struggle as I have. However, the world is continuously changing. For the worse. The wound we call a wealth divide deepens. Our pool of resources grows ever more invisible, unpredictable and unstable.

I'm not convinced it can but you can guarantee I'll do everything to support them and give them the best start in life possible. The best chance at tomorrow's world.

How can society contribute to creating a better future for my children?

Charley K

I am a mother of three children, two boys and a girl. I strongly believe that positive contribution of the society to my children will go a long way. Even though at the moment we are yet to settle with our immigration status. I still don't think that they should be treated differently. We live in a society that has mixed cultural beliefs, different races, different religions and so on. Some people think they are better than others. This practice is not acceptable. The best way we can live and contribute positively to other people’s life is to accept each other.

Furthermore, if the society is willing and ready to accept the fact that we are all same, this will make a great impact on the life of my children. Discrimination should not be named among us, so we can create a better environment for the children to live in.

To the glory of God, I have never lived leave in an unhealthy environment before. This has also made myself and my children to feel safer. Another thing I believe about life is that, if you want people to be good to you, you must be a good person yourself. In a situation where you are always creating chaos yourself, don't expect your neighbour to do better.

Finally, I believe if the environment is conducive for my children, the sky will be their limit. Also I have the obligation to make my children to behave well in the society. This is a matter of give and take. May God help all parent to realise this procedure.

Prince H

They should expand free school meals till the children are old enough for college. Picking up on disabilities earlier rather than them having to be at age of 7 and leaving parents to struggle for x amount of years which is challenging and difficult enough, but doing it alone as a single parent is even more challenging. The child maintenance and child benefit should increase due to increases in food and out of school activities which keep our children healthy. The children have voices they should have an opinion and should be heard to see what could we do to make it easier on them.

The schools want us to have healthy children, we then pay for activities to help that or the school then can pass on information to our GPs if they are just a tad over in weight as I did last year asking about the height and weight on my side and his dad's side of family asking if I would want my son to see a dietitian! But the prices of these activities are getting just as bad as the food rises.

Millie P

We need better systems in place to protect our family and children’s wellbeing. We barely saw our health visitor for the first year of our daughter's life - we felt so disconnected from services and the pandemic made everything feel even worse. We need to progress back into a face-to-face setting wherever possible, to create the much needed feeling of inclusivity back into society. If the wellbeing of parents is put first, this radiates onto the children we are looking after. We need children’s centres to be open, and available to anyone who needs them - as they provide a lifeline to those with children under the age of 5. A support system is essential to the healthy development of every child, and not all people have a family network they can rely on. We need to ensure child poverty is eradicated in this country to the best of our ability - politicians need to increase child benefit each year and to not penalise those with more than 2 children, or who are caring for the disabled. The system as we know it is broken, but it is not too late to fix it.

Abi

Society can significantly contribute to shaping a better future for my children through increased community engagement. Initiatives such as opening youth centres, promoting cultural exchange programs, and reviving holiday events create a positive atmosphere for them to thrive, gain new skills and experiences. Often, children's welfare and future depends on the parents' situation; so having more supportive policies including affordable housing, accessible childcare, and support for low-income families would create a better future for children.

The reality of being a single parent

Ruby

I’m sorry that nothing was ever good enough,

I’m sorry I worked so much, missing so much of your childhood, and I still wasn’t able to pay bills or put good food on the table, I’m sorry we never got to go on holiday,

The world considers single parents with a large stigma attached of “well they must have chosen that life”, when the truth is I can guarantee that most would have never chosen to raise a child alone, let alone run a house and hold a job. The tears and sleeplessness nights due to the continuous stress, the parents’ evenings missed, the school plays missed. For what? To get further into debt, further digging the hole that seems impossible to escape from. Where does it end? I’m sorry that nothing I do is good enough, but what I will never do is give up. I will keep working and i will better myself, I will challenge the system that is set up to make us fail, one day we will all stand up and the world will be a better place for it, we need to look after each other not create stigmas and ignorance, together we can push for better futures for all, after all the children are the future we need to do better for them.