Gabbie S

Half term has been much of a muchness for us. Tedious, banal and plain boring. Nothing to look forward to. No money to go and do anything apart from the local shops when we needed things and then because of the cost of living increases it doesn't buy much - you can't do a "full shop" like you could in "the good old days". Housework- never ending as I struggle to keep on top of it all, dog walking when I've felt able to and because psychologically I've not been feeling my best (not that I ever do) so actually leaving the house has been feeling very difficult for me lately so I tend to withdraw from the world. However, we did manage a trip to a pet shop in Lancashire that my 17 year old wanted to visit to see some parrots he was interested in, which was a lovely change. But overall, same as the Summer Holidays - no day trips with my 17 year old like we use to do, although thanks to some free tickets my 17 year old had won, he managed a rare trip to Alton Towers with his friends and oldest brother. I didn't go. Because of my spinal issues I can't go on the roller coasters any more. Gutted - I love rollercoasters. But these days the only roller coaster I go on is this life. I'm hanging on as best I can but even some days I feel so hollow and empty, I think "What's the point?". So that is definitely a changing reality for me - the interminable pressure on my mental health. Despite taking medication, despite knowing what I need to do re self care and to reframe my thinking, because life is no better and the Pandemic ongoing - which people keep forgetting about, it's like reliving Groundhog Day, every day. I need some Bill Murray sass to break out, but both spirit and flesh are unable, not unwilling.