Bessie J

I budget for gas and electricity first . I moved into New flat in April and it has pre payment meters which I haven't used before. Summer was manageable but as winter arrived , I find I am obsessive reading the smart meter readings and I am stressed at how fast the meter balances go down.

I moved as a single mum with my teen daughter from an expensive private rental with no insulation and damp to a council flat. The rent is less than half the private rent and smaller to heat.

As the private rental had all kitchen white goods built into the kitchen, I applied to my local council welfare fund for a cooker, washing machine, fridge freezer and carpets/ flooring. I was refused by the council on the grounds I made the decision to move home when I didn't need to (in receipt of full housing benefit and paying extra towards private rent, I thought I was doing something positive and easing the council housing benefit bill).

The council woman also abruptly said I received plenty in disability benefits to purchase all white goods and carpets myself.

I didn't argue back ,however citizens advice explained the council had calculated Disabity benefits as income but is supposed to be dismissed as its used to pay for support for my daughter with autism.

I was mentally and physically exhausted moving home without family and no friends for support.

I took out a £812 loan from my benefits to purchase a cooker, washing machine, carpets/ flooring, the highest amount allowed.

The carpets/ flooring was quoted at £1700 fully fitted.

I browsed online for used white goods but all sellers needed me to pick up. I do not drive and had nobody to rely on to help.

So I bought a new basic washing machine, fridge and carpeted daughter's bedroom and living room. I purchased an air fryer and have a microwave to heat up food, until I could afford a cooker. After a few months I bought the cooker however wasn't prepared for extra expense of paying for plumbing in washing machine and fixing electric cooker to wall was not included in cost. I still have a cooker sitting not connected to wall. The DWP took £70 a fortnight from my benefits to pay back the loan.

Buying ready made meals is more expensive and less nutritious, but I'm juggling my budget for gas and electricity which has tripled in costs now it's winter.

8 months later and Xmas fast approaching, I have been forced to migrate to UC. First payment is due 28th Dec.

We have child benefit and disability payment to live off. It works out less than £200 a week. I am at breaking point mentally and frantically looking at high interest loans to buy food, gas and electricity for the next month, I have a second bank account opened and my thoughts are to have UC paid into new bank account when it's finally processed to ensure its not taken out to pay the high interest loan. Wrong I know, but what do I do when DWP closes its offices for Xmas and my pre payment meters run out?

Next on prioity list is Broadband for wifi. I got rid of the house phone as paying extra and I hardly used it. I use a mobile phone for contact with GP, as appts are to be asked for online, an email gives me an appt time and GP will phone or see me in person.

We live semi rural and I depend on supermarkets home deliveries. The nearest supermarkets are 10 to 15 miles away and I do not drive.

I have bus pass for free bus travel, however the timetables have been reduced and I once experienced waiting in the snow on the main dual carriageway with no shelter for over 1 hour to carry heavy shopping bags home.

Home delivery fresh food goes out of date quicker and I've learned not to buy too much as I thrown out rotten vegetables.

There is a small supermarket in town but it's very expensive and caters for workers with wine and spicy food.

I am a non drinker, do not smoke and do not take drugs.

I have no friends as I moved to this town after fleeing domestic violence and majority of families who live here are married to offshore workers and have affluent lifestyles. I cannot afford a taxi out never mind a social life . I cut my own hair in the bathroom and no nail appts as expected from stereo typical single mums.