Gracie E

I have 3 children of different age groups, my eldest is 15 almost 16 and due to the high needs of the younger two ends up getting a little left out. Its so hard splitting yourself in 3. She has started to attend a gym with her friends and I actively encourage this as exercise is so important for them. Her dad pays for her membership but if she needs anything else it's on me including driving her to and from.

My middle son is almost 13 and is on the pathway for an adhd and Autism diagnosis. None of the schools local to me would accept him based on his needs outlined in his EHCP so he was accepted at the school local to his dad's house 23 miles away. This means my round trip is an hour and a half in good traffic to collect him from school (this isn't every day as we share care) but it's still a lot of fuel. Unfortunately his needs are such that he cannot access the community safely and has when been allowed in the past taken part in some risky behaviour well beyond his years. So, to balance our ability to keep him safe with allowing him normal peer relationships and friendships we have to organise activities for him to take part in where adults would be present. His gym he attends with school friends is 25 miles away, the rugby team he plays for and excels in has games all over the county that's up to 50 miles away and it's all time and fuel and money and a struggle to fit all 3 kids needs into life. My son often struggles in his mainstream school and I have to have countless meetings at the school which again is miles away. They have helped on occassion by making them via video call but technology fails and often I'm left in the dark and not apart of the meeting.

My youngest is 3 almost 4 and is showing signs of adhd and asd. (I have both so they are just like their momma) but this means taking him out is hard. He elopes if not watched 24/7 and has massive meltdowns which become violent. Even going to the shops is difficult.

He attends nursery 3 mornings a week and on the other days I'd absolutely love to keep him active and engaged by taking him to play centers and parks farms etc but all those come with a cost I simply cannot meet.

If I had more money I'd be able to juggle life a little easier and I'd be able to facilitate more occasions where my middle son can meet up with his friends with me close by . Just being able to take my daughter to a coffee shop for some one on one time isn't currently an option.

I wish I could do better but being neurodiverse myself with children with SEN is like juggling plates that constantly fall. Some days I feel lost in the fog of survival mode with nothing to really look forward to and not really being able to meet all the kids needs