Victoria S

Just been in a zoom with Changing Realities, I love these zooms, they help me feel valid and heard and useful. But something today made me frustrated, not at Changing Realities or any of the amazing team and participants but at the system we're all trap under.

I'm incredibly blessed that my kids may not always get what they want to but never known true hunger, like me and many of the participants. Someone saying they don't have enough food for today dinner and I have a cupboard full of tinned food I won't throw out for fear of not getting paid and needing something to fall back on and I just wanted to throw that food through the link at the family and knew I couldn't. I still try to add food to food bank collections while knowing I can't benefit from them myself due to locations and timings. Food banks are hard to access for many, there just isn't enough help for those who need it most. I worry about money and food everyday but I'm lucky in that I have a little extra layer of protection through the help of friends and me being able to function really well on one meal a day, plus all the extra joys and perks in my local community that bring joy and help ease my strain a little. Being part of Changing Realities reminds me that while I do struggle, I don't need to fear the kettle, I still fear letters and phonecalls but I use my kettle as and when needed without fear. I do dishes once a day, to reduce water costs and heating water but I'm managing very well with what resources I have (which doesn't make me better at budgeting as I've been told by some, just very very lucky that I have support around me to offset some of the trauma of very low income).

I wish there was a way of giving more targeted help to people who need it, I often share good with neighbours who are within my literal reach but so many people suffer and its not right, it's not fair on any of them, no one should be scared to use a kettle or turn their heating on. It's disgusting that our government has not only allowed but designed this to happen to its most vunerable. Makes me ashamed to call myself British.