Bessie J

As a full time carer for my 16 year old daughter who has autism, I am miserable.

As a mother I'm doing what I can, which never seems enough.

I am isolated and unsupported.

Since lockdowns, the support services have been pulled.

The heating bills increased and the house we live in is private rented, uninsulated and cold. I feel guilty I cannot provide the basics of a warm home. I am disrespected by the dance mums as they view me as lazy and a benefit scrounger.

I was ill last year with pneumonia and now had an accident and have stitches in my knee. Nobody has came to ask if I need support to get shopping or housework. I feel worthless.

Apparently that's what the benefits pay for, a cleaner or an assistant.

It's hard not to compare to others, especially when they have support, their children attend school and grandparents on free childcare duty, with no issues of what my daughter has with autism. I am not allowed to choose where we live, not deserving of respect in the eyes of others in the town. I am lonely. Counselling has not helped.

It doesn't change the situation. I cannot force others to like me for who I am and what I do. There is no support system in the area. There is a lack of affordable housing as rents increase. I have lost my confidence and faith in a system that is on its knees due to lockdowns and cost of living crisis.