Zara N

Care:

My learnings regarding care are that you have to care for yourself. If this means taking time out to rest if you need it, try to plan it before it reaches crisis point. I recently decided that my son and I needed a restful weekend, I cancelled our prior engagements and basically said we were both tired. I work full time, and my son is in school and goes to a childminder Monday to Friday. Monday to Friday we leave our home at 7am and are not at home until 6pm each night, so it was a real treat for us to have a weekend of rest and self-care. I think people have to prioritise self-care, as otherwise you can get burn out.

Time:

I am very ‘time-poor’. If I could have a wish, I would wish for more hours in a day. I try to keep a manageable work and home-life balance, and do not over-commit myself as a working full-time single parent. I find I get very tired, and I try to spend all my free time with my son and partner. I try to be organised, so I do not waste time. This means the majority of shopping is done online, and housework is broken up over the week. At the moment, I have accepted that, until my son is older, I will not have much me-time. I do not resent this, as it is my reality. My son’s father is dead, as are my parents and my son’s paternal grandparents. So, my son and I are the closest family each other has. Nothing in life is permanent. At the moment I feel like I am busy all the time, but there may come a time when I will have lots of time. So, I check myself each day and I find things overwhelming.

Online:

It has helped a lot. I have been able to connect to people, do training courses, do dance classes and join organisations like Changing Realities, attend meetings with my son’s SEN team without the worry of finding childcare or taking unpaid time off work. Online has enabled me to carve out a small piece of the world for myself. Online meetings are a great way of connecting people together, where you would struggle to get them together because of various life reasons, and I feel there is real power in that.

Power:

I believe in the power of gratitude, when I look back at times in my life when I struggled a lot it is because I always wanted the world to be different. Some days I struggle, and I find trying to list things that I am grateful for extremely helpful, even if at that moment it is just one thing! I believe that small positive acts can make a difference to our reality.