▼ Found 55 entries
9 Oct 2023
Q&A

Annie W

Since you joined Changing Realities what has changed for you and your household?

It’s nice hearing/seeing other people’s views on how to get through certain situations. Helps you realise that you’re not the only one out there that has struggles and it helps to inspire ideas to help with future events. I have found it to be useful and does help when you feel a little low in mood.

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22 Sep 2023
Q&A

Pippa G

How do you feel about the winter, and what steps are you planning to try and get through?

Nothing changes, even if some of us have managed to improve our situation financially. The rise in everyday costs have just removed what should be a positive improvement.

We will be refraining from using our heating and wearing layers.

We are used to the cold but ASD child can have issues with this.

I sold my tumble dryer as it was too expensive to run and changed this for a dishwasher I was given. Funny enough it's next to Nothing to run it and saves me important time as my life is super busy.

So not heating means wet clothes, which means do I need to buy more clothes to cover this? Yes, I have had to already.

There's no clear answer to cut down costs, to what you can afford and there's no magic ball to see into the future.

There's no security and living in the moment is our "now" is also our future.

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15 Sep 2023
Diary

Evelyn D

I feel grateful throughout all of this time, because no matter what, no matter how bad things get, we survive. That's a hugely important message I want my son to take away from his childhood. You can get through anything and at some point, things will level out and we will be ok.

The roof needs repairing, and the roofer has said that I can pay him in instalments! How amazing is that?!

I am slowly changing my mindset because I realise the impact that poverty has had on me is to make the previously happy and hopeful person I was, into a very depressed person, the cup has definitely been half empty. But I want to change that for myself and for my son.

I am a survivor of adversity, of trauma, and that is an amazing thing I think. I am one of the lucky ones.

It isn't easy to change your mindset when things are difficult and when maybe you didn't have the best start in life either, but I am trying because I want a better life for myself and for my son and despite the challenges we face, there is so much to be thankful for.

I am currently in intensive therapy and slowly, the lady I am working with is helping me to develop a toolkit of coping strategies. I'd like to share these with my son in a positive way and help him to see that his own reality can be better. No matter how tough things get, we are here and we are survivors.

I appreciate the Covid Realities and subsequent Changing Realities projects and the teams and partners, very much. The experience of being involved in these has been so uplifting and there are so many reasons to never give up. I have become an activist, I have become a person who sees the truth behind so many things, that's priceless. The projects have expanded me as a person and made me better in many ways. How lucky I am to have experienced this.

I do feel sad that the projects will be coming to an end, but I will be forever grateful to have taken part.

🙂
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9 Sep 2023
Diary

Evelyn D

Hi…

I want to start by saying that I’m managing, that I’m not broken, but, that I know I can’t keep things going as the situation stands, without significant impacts.

That’s what I want to speak about, the impact of poverty on my physical and mental health. How, if I track my life from 2019 to now, I can see just how messed up things have become.

It wouldn’t matter how much money I had right now in a way, the damage is done.

Poverty, slowly but steadily, removes your true voice. It takes away the strength to fight, to believe that we are worthy.

Over time, our friends have stopped asking us to attend events, stopped inviting us to places because we cannot afford to join them. Our circle has reduced so much and as a single parent to a child with additional needs, that has slowly destroyed my sense of self worth and my ability to get out and try to enjoy life.

My body ‘feels’ broken. I am experiencing a very difficult menopause and despite multiple attempts to garner healthcare support, I am unable to due to a family history of cancer. I’ve given up asking. So I just suffer and I don’t use that word lightly.

I can’t properly care for myself any longer, and that is so very sad to me. I gave up smoking and drinking alcohol, I tried to eat healthily but it’s so expensive now.

I recently had a minor accident and really hurt my foot. I absorbed the pain and carried on because there is only me to take care of things. I found out from my doctor when I could finally get in, that I have a suspected hairline fracture on my foot. I’ve just carried on, because although rationally I know I need to rest, realistically, I can’t. I can’t afford to get help to do jobs in my home and I have no one to help with my son.

I absorb the pain and I think well this is all you can do, but it makes me so so sad that I even matter so little to myself now.

I am not the person I was in September 2019. When I finally had help with my son, I had a part time job, I had possibilities and a bit of hope. I was building back up after difficult times and honestly thought we can do this, things will get better, they haven’t.

Recently, my stepfather died and the devastating effects of that have hit me hard. I come from a fractured family and have no support at all from them. They hid his death and I found out by accident. I cannot tell you how that felt and as I add that to the mountain of suffocating beliefs that I don’t deserve better, I know that getting out of this dark place has become something I just cannot see.

Whilst I keep telling myself you aren’t broken, the reality is a very different story…

I’m trying hard to keep the faith and I support others through voluntary work and a listening ear, so it isn’t over, yet.

I wanted so much more for my son, how sad that so much greed and apathy to the lives of people on low incomes has rendered any dreams that I had, void.

I do think that we have survived a lot, and maybe we can get through. But the crisis in the actual ‘cost’ of living this way is far from over for so many of us.

🙂
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4 Sep 2023
Diary

Gabbie S

In spite of all our difficulties with physical & mental ill health, I am writing with some happy news for a change. My 18 y/o son passed his Level 2 City & Guilds Welding certificate, and I'm going to be a mother-in-law as my eldest son popped the question to his partner. It's vital that we have things to look forward to. We who live in poverty are as deserving of happiness as anyone else.

😀
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1 Sep 2023
Diary

Sadie P

There’s a sadness to the end of the summer holidays approaching - which is odd really because I haven’t loved them. In fact, the sadness comes from my guilt at not having facilitated non-stop fun and activities throughout. We’ve managed a couple of days away (to a soggy coast) but generally we’ve been at home, whilst I’ve worked and the kids have entertained themselves. The pretty rubbish weather hasn’t forced me to spend on expensive activities inside so we have endured “pandemic, stay at home vibes” and done what we do best. Now in reflection I’m questioning if I should have done more…but I’m one person and I’m so tired!!! Maybe next summer will be different?

😐
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30 Aug 2023
Diary

Libby N

4 years of not knowing how. Going through ups and downs of a breakdown of a marriage, shared parenting and downhill projection of what I would be financially capable of, and finally it was here - my first abroad holiday post divorce. Although I would have loved it with my kids, having that ‘Pray, Eat, Love’ movie moment was also necessary. I might not have had the endless pocket money to spend on things, putting presents to bring back for my kids the main priority, the experience of feeling refreshed was souvenir enough.

Finally what I wasn’t expecting, was that in Britain we might be complaining of the cost of living, but in the Mediterranean it is something they have come to terms with and just knuckle down and work as hard as they possibly can. Their restlessness inspires me that however my year will end, I will not give up on dreaming of getting to my end goal too and that is to be on the road back to work as well. Sometimes fresh inspiration is all you need to spark the innovative ways, in order to create your own opportunities in life. Cost of living will not continue to define the goals I haven’t achieved, anymore.

😀
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30 Aug 2023
Diary

Annie W

The summer holidays is nearly over. It’s been a tough one on entertaining 3 children. Wish I could have done more for them but hopefully next year I’ll be able to, even if that means planning a few months in advance.

But I feel optimistic about the future, surely it can only get better.

🙂
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30 Aug 2023
Q&A

Dotty R

How are you feeling about the new school year?

Excited but scared! My son is moving to high school so I know costs will increase but excited for him to take his next step.

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30 Aug 2023
Diary

Ellie L

Thinking about opportunities, especially work related, which require photographic ID. I didn't have any, for years. Passport and provisional driving licence went out of date, at times when I couldn't afford new ones... and the list of "acceptedly" employed referees for a passport... I'm poor!!! All my friends are poor. I don't know anyone with posh jobs like those!! Imagine if schools could make sure that every pupil aged 16 got a passport - surely that would help with employment in the future?!

😐
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19 Aug 2023
Q&A

Annie W

How are you feeling about the new school year?

I feel indifferent to the new school year.

I was invited to a transition meeting along with other parents to go through what would happen in the new school year. Which included information about trips and when they would be. I found that helpful as I know when to need extra money by, so it gives me time to save.

My daughter has decided she wants to go on packed lunches rather than school meals as she wasn’t keen on them, so that’s going to be an extra cost too but I’d rather make sure she eats than not.

But, I’m excited for all the new things she will learn this year.

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11 Aug 2023
Diary

Jen T

Today is a better day and I am trying to look for all the positives and budget my money better.

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