Beverly W

So the good news is, it's nearly my birthday. The bad news is I still haven't bought anything for my son's which was 2 weeks previous.

What with the apparent continuous bailing out of his brother, he felt he would do without for the time being. Hoping for driving lessons as many his age wish for. With the worry of male suicides in the back of my mind it's difficult not to help my son out where I can... He owes money out in fines & refuses to get professional help or even take accountability for it. It reached a point last weekend where by I had helped him out yet again, only to have him tell me he's no food to feed his son with & then needed a make a further payment to get his driving licence returned. Give an inch, take a mile!

I've since had to make it clear to him I'm not able to help with cash hand outs any more, to avoid any upset either side, because I was simultaneously asked if I could help my cash strapped eldest son out too. Which I did do, however, meant to be getting this chunk of money repaid.

Once upon a time, it was also the arrangement with my middle son that he repaid all the money he "borrowed" but I'm disappointed to think it won't see its way back to me if at all. Least not any time soon.

Meanwhile, the car seems to be having major problems again. It was only 2 months ago it had repairs on it too. Not sure how safe it is to continue using it. Won't know till it's looked at.

I feel immensely overwhelmed...

Ironic really, because only yesterday I attended a workshop to foster wellbeing & positivity. Positively up a certain creek without a paddle more like... Now "THAT" I can be certain of.

I can see me paying the water rates off with any birthday money I get at this rate. I shall light birthday candles on the bath taps... To mark the occasion.