Life in Scotland hasn’t really been easy especially being relatively new. I suffered unemployment for over a year and I lived on food bank and support from church. I couldn’t pay my bills at some point despite been a graduate. I later moved to Glasgow from Aberdeen. And I believe with me volunteering currently now that my experience would improve my employability chances in the future.

Do the middle class hate the lower classes? More the deemed undeserving poorer members of the lower classes, the unworking or invisibly disabled. Yes, I think they do. Not cos they understand our realities, I'm sure if they did they'd change their tunes.

I used to enjoy people watching in cafes, a cheap cuppa and nice view for my version of a day out. But these days it's becoming an activity I partake in less and less often because of the conversations I overhear. I live in a middle class town, with pockets of deep poverty but mostly middle and upper working class majority. And their attitudes towards people on disabilities benefits and the unworking are getting more and more derisive. This last year esp I feel everytime I force myself to go out, get out of my flat and try to have at least a semblance of some kind of life around my invisible but debilitating disabilities, I overhear more and more that makes me fearful for my safety. To hear strangers casually debating at the local coffee shop which disabilities are deserving of aid (often summarised as if I can see their disability then I won't argue they deserve aid - when most of the people I know in wheelchairs can do so much more, day to day functionality, than many with hidden disabilities, cos all disabilities impact each persons differently, visably or not). Or the usual complaints that if you're on benefits you shouldn't be able to go on holidays, if you're not working what do you need luxuries for, they're a reward for hard work, etc. I can go on and on. The tones they use when they say "unworking" "faking/lifestyle disabled" feel like a slur, like we're dirty. Undesirable, undeserving, unwanted. When we just want basic level of liability. Same as them.

But I don't get the impression they have this view due to lack of compassion, they often talk if one or two people they know who are deemed deserving in their eyes, due to harsh traumas or long term relationships(we have more empathy for people we know than for unknown strangers who are just numbers, statistics on a screen). It's a mix of accepting propaganda meant to turn the masses against the poor (and distracted from the rich), and a bit of fear. They fear becoming like us, so internalise their own work based abuses like a cloak of pride. Like if we get basic nessecities when such things are increasingly harder for even the middle class, then are they even better than us anymore. They fear us coming up to take from them, when it's rich businesses and corporations taking from all of us. They're closer to us than to the aspirational upper classes. But they're so busy trying to maintain their lifestyles that they fear it all being taken away, which it easily can be (as many of their deserving disabled poor friends who used to be super hard working before some tragic accident or illness). I have empathy for their fears, their instabilities and their anxieties. Why can't they see we're dying down at the lower classes, why can't they empathise with us and use their brains to see past propaganda. Why is that so hard.

Hi

It is a Sunday but also cold,will be indoors today baby not feeling okay also

Today, I just feel heavy.

There’s so much uncertainty ahead, and it’s starting to wear me down. I still have a balance to pay for my Master’s degree, and with no job at the moment — and my husband also without a stable source of income — it feels like we’re stuck in a storm with no shelter.

We’re both doing everything we can, but when you’re trying to stay afloat and nothing seems to be working out, it’s exhausting — not just physically, but mentally. Some days I try to stay hopeful and tell myself things will get better, but today isn’t one of those days.

I feel tired. We feel tired. Not just from the stress, but from carrying it silently while trying to keep going for our family and our children. It’s hard to plan, hard to sleep, and hard to breathe sometimes under the weight of not knowing what comes next.

I just wanted to be honest about how I’m feeling — because sometimes pretending everything is okay takes more energy than we have left.

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine. I was at the job centre again last Friday and I've been stressed since. I'm on universal credit and work term time with children. Last year the AET for UC jumped up to £892. I was called into the office last Friday to be told that it's jumped up to £952. This means my monthly wage has to be £952 per month. If it's not (which it's not) then I have to go and sign on every fortnight to show that " I am actively looking for a better paid job" . My job is a great job in childcare which is needed there are no possible extra hours I can do as I work when schools are on.... I don't know how to make more money there and its hard finding a job between the hours of 9.45 and 1pm (I need to do the school run and then be back for my job). So basically I'm backed into a corner with the only options being quit the job I love that works around my family life or sign on every fortnight. It is so unfair. Why do the government keep squeezing us. I'm struggling as it is. Anyways I'll go and sign on and apply for jobs or risk getting sanctioned. I'm feeling deflated and don't know what else I can do. Last year when the AET jumped up to 892£. I went to my boss and took on the max responsibilities my job could give. There's nothing else I can add on. I've had my April pay rise. Quitting this job is not an option. I wouldn't find anything that works round my childcare needs. I'm really fed up. Anyways I know I'm not the only one and I know there's always someone out there worse off. So trying to stay positive but had to write my frustration down in the diary. Is anyone else struggling with this AET thing?

All holidays scare me as it costs more money. I’ve just got through the bank holiday and I feel bad that my 2 children are cooped up inside the house but if I go out that costs money that I don’t have. My daughter has also just got off for her GCSE study leave for the entire month of May and June. Schools should consider children’s socio economic background before they make such decisions. My daughter is eligible for free school meals but now I’m having to take over all the costs while she is studying. It’s a poor environment to study in. I really feel for her and it’s entirely unfair.

It's been my little one's birthday this week. As she's been out of school for 6 months now she hasn't got any friends to invite for a party so it's just family instead. I've been up until silly times making a cake - because I can't afford to pay for someone to make a soy, dairy and egg free cake that's child friendly and that's not something you can buy in a shop. The quote I got was £150 which is silly money. She's had us up in the night so much this week, more than usual and it's been a bit gruelling and the fact that her DLA has only been awarded at middle rate and they've not taken her night time needs into consideration feels like a kick in the teeth. I just want to be able to get a week or two of good nights sleep.

I have been seriously unwell the last few weeks, unfortunately I caught norovirus which left me unable to move from my bed. My daughter did her best to look after me and helped with the house doing bits she could giving her age and her autism. I unfortunately missed out on attending the first minister meeting in Edinburgh.

My mental health was very low during this period especially with it being Easter holidays and not being able to do anything with my daughter.

I got my wages yesterday from my main job to discover they were £200 down.

I queried with payroll and they said my tax code had been changed and I now had to pay more tax.

I felt devastated at first as I do two jobs in order to pay everything and also to prepare for house move I have to do in 2 years time.

It appears now if you have a second job and earn over amount the tax is increased. I now need to actually look into if working all these hours is even beneficial or I am just lining the taxman's pocket.

I have reduced my spending considerably and even given up the few hobbies I did have that cost money.

Hey

It was a cold day today, we went out but we enjoyed the 🥶 in town

Please be kind to people you don’t know what the next person is going through

I had a run in with my neighbour over him parking in my disabled space. The vile bigoted response I got shocked me! I knew people felt that way but to have someone scream it at you! I wasn’t disabled I was just fat! I’m a uk size 12! His money pays for me and my kids! Me working 2 jobs before my stroke was a lie! I was a benefits bi*ch! I was in bed for 2 days after. Why do people really think I’d want to live this way? Forever saying no, or wait until next week. Worrying between food or hot water!