Money has always been hard. My husband has a gambling issue which started a few years ago and I didn’t know he didn’t pay the bills and blew 2 wages! It nearly destroyed us. And to this day still repaying back. It’s a struggle. Everything costs so much as it is and when I’m trying to pay something back they want a large amount that I just can’t do. I completely understand why people choose to ignore debts at times, as it feels you have no choice.
He still goes off the rails at times but luckily not as bad as it used to be. They say there is all this help out there but, for me, I’m not a confident person on the phone and I can’t understand what’s said to me. But pretty much everything you have to do over the phone. There needs to be other ways of doing these things for people that have anxiety issues.
4 years of not knowing how. Going through ups and downs of a breakdown of a marriage, shared parenting and downhill projection of what I would be financially capable of, and finally it was here - my first abroad holiday post divorce. Although I would have loved it with my kids, having that ‘Pray, Eat, Love’ movie moment was also necessary. I might not have had the endless pocket money to spend on things, putting presents to bring back for my kids the main priority, the experience of feeling refreshed was souvenir enough.
Finally what I wasn’t expecting, was that in Britain we might be complaining of the cost of living, but in the Mediterranean it is something they have come to terms with and just knuckle down and work as hard as they possibly can. Their restlessness inspires me that however my year will end, I will not give up on dreaming of getting to my end goal too and that is to be on the road back to work as well. Sometimes fresh inspiration is all you need to spark the innovative ways, in order to create your own opportunities in life. Cost of living will not continue to define the goals I haven’t achieved, anymore.
I have been struggling this past month. I’ve had to deal with another death in the family, marriage problems and as usual money problems.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t have this cloud above my head when it comes to money. I have zero trust in my partner to handle money and I get very anxious about it when he does. To me you have to count to actual penny and plan out every month. Where as he sees it differently and just wants to spend.
My ex partner left me in October 2019. I had to go to the job centre to make a claim for Universal Credit has my wage wasn't enough to pay the mortgage, bills and my 2 children. I made the claim in October and did not receive any money until the January 2020. This meant I had to use foodbanks and that Christmas was the hardest ever. Luckily I managed to still get Christmas pressies has I went to charity shops and a friend helped me out. I was made to feel I was begging for money when I was working full time. Since then I actually got a second job and earn my own money so I don't have to claim anything. If it wasn't for food banks we would have gone hungry over those few months. Before I would have just thought, get myself a job or go back to UNI. I was already doing those things so I felt helpless and worthless even tho I was working. I was also recovering from cancer and remember thinking I don't have time to be ill and just carried on. The positive was I gained strength from a place I didn't know I had until then. This will carry me through anything now.
There is a huge lack of affordable houses to rent in this area.
Private rents have risen by 50% since lockdowns.
Council rules say I cannot be offered a home from them as adequately housed and not homeless... although I'm in poverty paying the extra rent over the benefit limit.
The bidding system for homes is online with many housing associations all connected to this system.
There are around 100 people applying for each home.
It is a cut throat, dog eat dog system. Abrupt staff talking down at me as if I am stupid... just a bit hard of hearing. There was a lack of compassion from a housing officer as my pet dog was being put down to ill health later that day and she called to check had we "got rid of dog yet". Pressure to make quick decisions in a poor frame of mind.
The same housing advisor gave out wrong information on benefit/ UC rules too for changing circumstances. Which swayed me to decide to leave an offer of a flat that day. Later found out from citizens advice much info from housing officers is wrong.
I'm 52 left a violent relationship with my children 10 years ago and still not worthy of a warm, permanent affordable home.
Nobody told me that 10 years ago. If I knew, I would probably have stayed.
I do get time for myself, but there isn't really anything that I want to do. Everything costs money. And also I am in a relationship whereby I am made to feel guilty if I go and see a friend or do anything for myself. I really wish that I could spend some money on myself, but the children are the priority and I always put the kids' needs before my own.
I haven't had a serious relationship since 2005 when I left my abusive ex-partner. I still feel damaged from that time & don't consider myself a suitable candidate for cosy coupledom, in the main because 1. I don't trust anyone enough to allow them to get close in case I am abused again & 2. I genuinely haven't met anyone as I am unable to go out & socialise - in part due to money issues & mainly due to disability. Folk with disabilities aren't exactly at the top of anyone's list of attractive people to date.
Even though I have good support from my mum and she helps as much as she can.
As a single mum who has a son who has supervised visits with his dad, I feel like I don't have enough time to spend time for my self and time to get to know and alone time with my new partner.